Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
