TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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