So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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