so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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