Its about making memories worth repressing
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
