Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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