I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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