According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
