What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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