Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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