So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
