We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
