i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
