if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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