Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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