Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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