I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Boobs speak an international language.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize