It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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