i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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