I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
