there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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