Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We have started to decorate penises.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
