I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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