We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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