I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
