so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
