my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
