She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
