You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
