i don't plan on having that self control this summer
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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