He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
