apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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