no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
