i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
