the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
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you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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