five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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