Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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