I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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