She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize