Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
