I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
