i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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