He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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