Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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