i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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