If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
