i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
