I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
