You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
