I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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