I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
