I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
