I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
