I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
