Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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