I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
